Discernment via Disillusionments

One of the tools that God uses to lead us to "the pearl of great price," a treasure for which we are willing to sell all is the disappointments or disillusionment of our life.  It is true, I believe, in looking for the right person to marry--that person with whom one is called to form a lifetime commitment/partnership. Before finding that "treasure," that finest of pearls, an individual may date more than one person, suffer the heartbreak of broken relationships or even broken engagements.  The same process may occur in searching for the right major or minor in college, in finding the career or job that is a good fit. No less arduous, time-consuming and sometimes difficult, is finding the right religious community to which one belongs.  The Foundress of my religious community entered an active, apostolic community at age 21. Sixteen years later, at age 37,  she enter a cloistered community and eight months later God called to her to leave that community to establish one that combined action and contemplation. The road was difficult, filled with disappointments and disillusionments. Those disappointments and disillusionments were not unilateral but mutual. All of them led to seeking the will of God (discernment) and committing oneself to the Lord alone: our ultimate call. 

Making Right Decisions in Everyday Circumstances

DISCERNMENT:  Yesterday we shared questions that Sister Clare Wagner suggested to ponder in discerning the vocation to which God is calling. I suggested that those questions be answered  following the 5, 10, 12, 20 minutes of listening with the heart to the Spirit. Those same questions might be tweaked in discerning God’s will in the everyday living of our faith and the choices we face to carry out the will of God. If we applied these questions in that way, what might we be asking ourselves? We might be quizzing ourselves as follows: Those questions are:

·         “What do I want most in this situation?

·         What are the fears that are blocking me from making the decision I know in my deepest self is the right decision in these circumstances?

·         What are my deepest hopes for the persons concerned?

·         What decision would make me feel most alive?

·         Who is God for me in this situation?

·         Pondering the decision I need to make in this situation, what are my feelings about God, myself, the world?”

·         When I think of the consequences of making a decision that is contrary to my faith, what feelings arise in my heart?

·         When I think of the consequences of making a decision that is consonant to my faith, what feelings arise in my heart?

·         When I imagine myself  and others involved in this decision after making what I know is the right choice,  what feelings arise?

·         When I imagine myself  and others involved in this decision after making what I know is not right choice,  what feelings arise?

·         What gifts will surface if I make the decision that I know is in compliance with my faith?

·         What gifts will diminish if I make the decision that I know is not in compliance with my faith?

·         How do I see myself living and working with the persons involved if I make what I know in the depth of my being is the right decision in these circumstances? How do you feel?

·         How do I see myself living and working with the persons involved if I make what I know in the depth of my being is not the right decision in these circumstances? How do you feel?

·         Which do I value most: my own will no matter what, God’s will no matter what, my integrity and that of the others involved or selfish, immediate or fleeting gains?

·         When I picture myself five years from now, not having sacrificed fleeting pleasures and avoiding the hard choices, what images of myself arise? What feelings come to me?

·         When I picture myself five years from now,  having sacrificed fleeting pleasures and avoiding the hard choices, what images of myself arise? What feelings come to me?

What steps do you need to take in order that you are more likely to make right decisions in your everyday life situations?  Take these questions to your prayer time. Listen to your heart and to God’s response.  Keep notes on what you hear when you prayerfully ponder these questions. Trust your feelings and God’s presence and love.   Share your findings with a spiritual director and/or a trusted friend.

(Cf Sister Clare Wagner, OP, in Make a difference! A guide for life choice” a pamphlet published by the National Religious Vocation Conference in 1995)