Discernment: A Mutual Understanding and Affirmation

In today’s first reading, James 4: 13-17, St. James addresses those of us who say, “‘Today or tomorrow we shall go into such and such a town, spend a year there doing business, and make a profit’—you have no idea what your life will be like tomorrow. You are a puff of smoke that appears briefly and then disappears. Instead you should say, ‘If the Lord wills it, we shall live to do this or that.’”  Wow!  St. James might as well have asked us “Who do you think you are? You have no idea whether you will be here tomorrow. And where is God in this plan of yours?”

As we reflect upon James’  message, we may be reminded that God is in charge, not us.  I just returned from doing some work with young women believing that they are called to consecrate their lives to the Lord.  It was as though one of them was shouting: “THIS IS GOD’S WILL FOR ME. I SHALL ENTER YOUR COMMUNITY.”  There was no acknowledgement that she would pursue a  vocation to religious life, “IF THE LORD WILLS IT.”

As in marriage, a man and woman must both agree that they are meant to commit their lives to one another forever. If one of the parties says “I don’t believe that we are meant to be together forever, there is no marriage between the two of them. God revealed His will—the two were not meant to marry one another--in the fact that the attraction to marry one another was not mutual. The search for God's will needs, then, to continue. The same is true in regard to a religious vocation: both the community and the individual need to believe that “Yes, this is right!” In that mutual agreement, God reveals His will. This does not mean that the person is not called to consecrate her life to the Lord, but that she has not yet found the community that is right for her. It could also mean, as she continues  to seek religious life, that no community agrees with her that religious life is her calling. God, in that case, is redirecting her to consider other options. The door will open when she has found that calling to which God is inviting her.  And someone will confirm that calling. And she learns to say: “If the Lord wills it, [I] shall live to do this or that” (James 4: 15).

Discernment: "I want to be a sister"

You may be wondering how you will know that your desire to be a Sister is God’s will for you.  You might gain some insights into the answer to that question by viewing it from the perspective of how you would have known that you are called to marriage.  I suggest that you reflect back on a time when you  were dating and considering marriage.  How did you know whether marriage might have been right for you and that God might have been calling you to that vocation?  First of all, if you are a God-centered person, you  shared your thoughts about  marriage with God and sought God’s thoughts of marriage for you. You will have wanted to know God’s thoughts about you finding the right partner with whom to raise a family in the faith.  Second of all, both you and the gentleman would have sought certitude that you are meant to become husband and wife, to commit to each other in love forever.  You would have talked about it with each other.  You would have supported one another right up to the altar and beyond.  Both, not just one of you, if you both view life from a God-stance, believed marriage is a call from God for both of you.

Applying that experience to your desire to become a Sister, you and God have talked about it.  You have shared your thoughts with God and God with you.  In your relationship with God, you would have taken the position of a child talking to his/her parents, holding nothing back and seeking God’s input and His approval.  Second of all, you will have shared your thoughts with the Vocation Director of the religious community to which you feel called. Both you and the Vocation Director will have come to believe that consecrating your life to the Lord as a Sister is, in fact, God’s call to you and that this particular community is a good fit; namely, that you have the potential to commit yourself permanently to live out your baptismal call to build up God’s Kingdom here on earth as a member of this religious community,  giving expression to the charism and mission of the community and by being a faithful  community member.